Potty training

When to start potty training

Generally girls are more advanced for their age than boys. We suggest that sensible starting ages for potty training range from 18 months to 3 years. Also, the younger the child, the longer potty training is likely to take.

Unfortunately many parents feel pressure from the child’s grandparents to potty train as soon as the child turns one or starts to walk. I remember my own mother telling me that I was completely potty trained at 14 months. For my mother, the need to stop washing nappies was a huge incentive to potty train as soon as possible. Nowadays of course many people use disposable nappies so children are less likely to be bothered about having wet bottoms. Sometimes it is more convenient for parents to keep their child in nappies, especially for occasions such as shopping or when travelling long distances. 

The summer months are often regarded as the best time of year to potty train because children are often running around the garden wearing very little and it makes it easier to pop your child on the potty. Although you won’t have wet trousers (or carpets) with this method, it might take a bit longer as the child isn’t learning the process of going to the potty then pulling its trousers and pants down all in one go.

Some signs that your child might be ready for potty training are:-

• being interested in you going to the loo and asking questions about it;
• telling you when they have done a poo or a wee in their nappy;
• sitting on the potty (which means it can be a good idea to have one around before your child is ready);
• telling you that they need to go before they do, giving you time to put them on the potty; and
• being able to pull down their own trousers and pants (and pull them back up again would be a bonus).

The most important thing is not to have a battle with your child. If they begin to associate the potty with feelings of negativity the process will take much longer than is necessary. If you start the process and feel you’re not getting anywhere or there has been no improvement after a couple of days I would suggest that you stop potty training and try again in a couple of months. I would definitely avoid potty training at the same time as any big changes in the family like a new baby or a house move.

Equipment

A potty (ideally upstairs and downstairs); a training loo seat; a step stool; bed pads; waterproof mattress covers. I suggest having both a potty and a training loo seat. The potty is great for teaching them to do wees and poos on their own. The training loo seat is good for getting them used to the toilet, but often you need to be there to help them. You can also use a potty in rooms other than the bathroom to make sure that your child never has too far to go once the urge take them.

How to start

You could start putting them on the potty routinely at bath time or in the morning just to see what happens for a few weeks. When you are ready to start properly, be brave and put your child in “big girl/boy” pants. Explain that if they need the loo they should tell you because from now on they will be doing all wees and poos on the potty. Ask them every half an hour if they need a wee or a poo. In any case, put them on the potty every hour and encourage them to wee so they get used to the sensation of not weeing in a nappy.

Problems

Having accidents is inevitable so expect to go through lots of pants and trousers. Don’t tell them off for accidents because you don’t want them to associate being upset with the process. Say it doesn’t matter and they should try to do it on the potty next time. Put them on the potty anyway when they have had an accident because they might be holding onto the last little bit. Be very excited when they get it right and tell them how clever they are – positively re-inforce it every time to try and stop relapses.

Dry at night

Some parents prefer to take one step at a time. With our son we did the nights separately and regretted it, because when he was first potty trained his nappies were relatively dry at night.  His nappies then got wetter and wetter as he got used to being able to wee at night. With our first daughter we had her out of nappies in the the day and night at the same time. We achieved this by slowly reducing the amount of drinks we gave her before bed. We put her on the potty just before bed and then “lifted” her on to the potty when we went to bed. Your child should hardly wake up during this process, but whispering gently in their ear to “go wee wees” usually does the trick. We kept “lifting” her for a couple of months. We have just tried the same thing with our second daughter and, although she is now fully potty trained in the day, we have resorted to putting her back in a nappy at night.