Potty training

Reward Chart

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Potty Training Tip of the Week

"If your potty training cadet has older siblings, reward the siblings as well each time your child goes on the potty. That way it becomes a team effort with lots of people to keep asking whether the little one needs to go to the toilet." Lucy Rathbone - 22 November 2011

When to start potty training

Over the years, parents have tried many different techniques including holding their babies over the toilet from an early age after meals and encouraging them to do a pee, using a regimented schedule of fluid intake and toilet visits or trying systems of punishments and rewards. Now the most commonly used method is to wait until the child starts to show an interest and the parent feels up to the task. This is called the Brazelton approach and is what we would recommend.

Generally girls are more advanced for their age than boys. We suggest that sensible starting ages for potty training range from 18 months to 3 years (28 months is the average age). Also, the younger the child, the longer potty training is likely to take.

Some signs that your child might be ready for potty training are:-

• being interested in you going to the toilet and asking questions about it;
• telling you when they have done a poo or a pee in their nappy/diaper;
• sitting on the potty (which means it can be a good idea to have one around before your child is ready);
• telling you that they need to go before they do, giving you time to put them on the potty; and
• being able to pull down their own trousers and pants (and pull them back up again would be a bonus).

The most important thing is not to have a battle with your child. If they begin to associate the potty with feelings of negativity the process will take much longer than is necessary. If you start the process and feel you’re not getting anywhere or there has been no improvement after a couple of days I would suggest that you stop potty training and try again in a couple of months. I would definitely avoid potty training at the same time as any big changes in the family like a new baby or a house move.

Equipment

A potty (ideally upstairs and downstairs); a toilet training seat; a step stool; bed pads; waterproof mattress covers. I suggest having both a potty and a toilet training seat. The potty is great for teaching them to do pees and poos on their own. The toilet training seat is good for getting them used to the toilet, but often you need to be there to help them. You can also use a potty in rooms other than the bathroom to make sure that your child never has too far to go once the urge takes them.

How to start

You could start putting them on the potty routinely at bath time or in the morning just to see what happens for a few weeks. When you are ready to start properly, be brave and put your child in “big girl/boy” pants. Explain that if they need the toilet they should tell you because from now on they will be doing all pees and poos on the potty. Ask them every half an hour if they need a pee or a poo. In any case, put them on the potty every hour and encourage them to pee so they get used to the sensation of not peeing in a nappy.

Problems

Having accidents is inevitable so expect to go through lots of pants and trousers. Don’t tell them off for accidents because you don’t want them to associate being upset with the process. Say it doesn’t matter and they should try to do it on the potty next time. Put them on the potty anyway when they have had an accident because they might be holding onto the last little bit. Be very excited when they get it right and tell them how clever they are – positively re-inforce it every time to try and stop relapses. You might find it helpful to use reward charts and/or rewards each time they get it right.

Dry at night

Some parents prefer to take one step at a time. With our son we did the nights separately and regretted it, because when he was first potty trained his nappies were relatively dry at night.  His nappies then got wetter and wetter as he got used to being able to pee at night. With our first daughter we had her out of nappies in the the day and night at the same time. We achieved this by slowly reducing the amount of drinks we gave her before bed. We put her on the potty just before bed and then “lifted” her on to the potty when we went to bed. Your child should hardly wake up during this process, but whispering gently in their ear to “go pee pee” usually does the trick. We kept “lifting” her for a couple of months. We have just tried the same thing with our second daughter and, although she is now fully potty trained in the day, we have resorted to putting her back in a nappy at night.